I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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