I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
