I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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