Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
