So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
