Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
