My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize