I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
