I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
