She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
