I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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