He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
