My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
