Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
