I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
