piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
