he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
