i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
