I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
