Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
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My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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