whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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