I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i drank out of a bidet.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
