I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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