Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
