It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
