Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
