wanna go halves on a baby?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just found puke in my bra..
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
