she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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