ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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