you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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