Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
