Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
