Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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