Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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