I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
sex in a hospital.. check
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
