RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
