Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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