This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
