I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
