The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
