plz talk dirty to me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
worst night to have a conscience
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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