When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
