it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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