big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do herpes really smell.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
