our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
