let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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