for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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