It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i came on her dog
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
