Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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