So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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