Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
