I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just googled if crying burns calories
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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