it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You smell like stripper and shame
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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