They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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