Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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