I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Randomize