Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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