I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The air taste purple.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
