my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
