I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
