From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
