Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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