its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
