If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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