No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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