Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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