Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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