I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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