There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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